My Crohnic Life

– LIFE WITH AN INVISIBLE DISEASE – 

Grief & Chronic Illness

First came the cramping, but it was “just” normal uterine pain that came with every little girl’s period. Then came the fatigue, but everyone around me seemed to frequently discuss how exhausted they were, so I was tired too. Then came the bathroom urgency; I had to go, and I had to go NOW, but […]

Waiting

Waiting. And waiting and waiting and waiting. This seems to be all I do these days. I am a full time patient, holding temporary residence in Limbo. While this is a place I’ve often dwelled, I’ve been lucky to escape. Time and time again. But, here I am, unpacking my bags and dusting the shelves […]

My Glass House

I live in a body made of glass. Sturdy, but always at the risk of shattering in one fell swoop. How do you find strength, when your body, your home, is falling apart? Any movement risks another piece to fall out of place. I remember what it was like to live without this fear, this […]

A (Flared) Day in the Life [Video]

“What does a typical flare day look like for you?” This is a common question for me recently; rather than type out a boring summary of my day, I thought I’d show you. Yesterday, I had no appointments or pharmacy runs, so I took this day as an opportunity to answer this question; I recorded […]

Chronic

Cannabis saved my life. Pain has riddled my memories with darkness. I vividly recall the sensation of a dozen knives being plunged into my abdomen and then being violently twisted around. At the time, I was lying on the cold tiles of my bathroom floor with hot tears rolling down my face, agonizing screams leaving […]

But You Don’t Look Sick

“But you don’t look sick.” This is a common phrase heard by the invisible illness community; while people may think it’s a sort of compliment, it’s actually extremely invalidating and frustrating. We constantly feel misunderstood, judged and ostracized by those around us (even close family, friends and healthcare professionals). What do you do when you […]

My Interview With The Arbiter Newspaper

I was recently contacted by a news editor for Boise State University’s student newspaper, The Arbiter, for an interview about this blog. This article not only explains the purpose of this blog, but it also touches on a few projects I have completed in the short time this website has been live. One project, that […]

Too “Girly” For Pain

Until recently, I’ve never been empowered by my pain; I’ve been ashamed of it. For as long as I can remember, I thought that pain meant weakness. Through my childhood and adolescence, my pain has been blamed on the wrong aspect of my body. I thought I felt immense pain because I was weak not […]

Isolation

It’s no secret, hospital life is isolating. Those that enter the ER with a broken bone or the common cold kindly wave farewell to this confinement as they drive back to “normal life” a few hours later. However, those with chronic illnesses don’t get to leave the isolation at the door. For me, isolation has […]

“Thin” Isn’t Always a Privilege

“I wish I had Crohn’s so I could be thin.” “You’re so lucky you don’t gain weight!” “I wish I had Crohn’s so I could eat whatever I want.” “You don’t need to workout, you’re already so little.” “I know Crohn’s sucks, but at least you look amazing.” While my loved one’s meant no harm […]