Cannabis saved my life.
Pain has riddled my memories with darkness. I vividly recall the sensation of a dozen knives being plunged into my abdomen and then being violently twisted around. At the time, I was lying on the cold tiles of my bathroom floor with hot tears rolling down my face, agonizing screams leaving my fragile body, all while my family watched in utter horror. It was at this moment that I decided I would rather end my life, than live through this torment, untreated, everyday. I was 15, pre-Crohn’s diagnosis.
I experience pain every second of every day; literally 24/7. I suffer from not one, not two, but five illnesses that cause debilitating pain. I have hardly left bed in days because it has been so disabling.
As I’m writing, I’m strapped to a heating pad, after taking Percocet and smoking. I can’t even tell you exactly where I’m feeling the pain… because it’s everywhere.
When I was younger, before I turned to cannabis, I popped Hydrocodone around the clock, every four hours. Post diagnosis, I don’t believe I took a single final without being drugged up in high school. Finally, the day came when my doctor deemed me overly reliant on Hydrocodone; he cut me off and instead prescribed me Oxycodone, a stronger narcotic… nice.
I won’t go too far into detail, but one of my first incidents with Oxycodone quickly exemplified the dangers of it & how easily it is to become addicted.
When I finally tried smoking weed, medicinally, I experienced something transcendent: pain relief. REAL pain relief. Happy tears came to my eyes because I felt genuine reprieve. I noticed, not only my pain easing up, but also a release from my relentless nausea, food aversions, insomnia and anxiety.
One question that comes up frequently is about why I don’t just eat edibles to preserve the health of my lungs. I typically don’t have much luck with edibles, and I believe it is because of my malabsorption issues. This is why I rely mostly on oil concentrate or flower. I like heavy indicas to sleep, but I typically like sativas/hybrids during the day.
My favorite strains include:
Green Crack (oil)
Girl Scout Cookies
Jack Herer (fun fact: this is the first strain I ever smoked)
Don’t get me wrong; narcotics still have their place. Like I mentioned, I’m on Percocet now. When I battle flares, like I currently am, weed alone isn’t enough. However it has limited my intake of these meds to 1 or 2 pills max/per day, rather than a dose every 6 hours.
When I’m not flaring, I still battle chronic pain; however, I am able to ditch the narcotics and use cannabis, CBD, yoga, acupuncture, massage therapy, etc.
I fear that, without weed, I would face addiction; the combination of chronic pain and my addictive genetics can be extremely dangerous once you throw opioids in the mix. Not to mention, opioids tend to further suppress my appetite, while pot improves it; this is so important for me as I’ve been underweight for the majority of my life, and I struggle with malnourishment due to my Crohn’s disease and multiple bowel resections.
There are many stigmas involving marijuana, and it’s time to debunk certain misconceptions about this drug. Some people believe that cannabis makes you lazy; it can make you lazy, but it doesn’t make ALL people lazy ALL of the time. With the right strain, it makes me way more functional than I am without it. I can complete much more throughout the day with this medicinal aid.
Smoking is one of the first things I do when I wake up and one of the last things I do before I go to bed. I am an early morning person, and I cherish my wake-n-bake seshes with warm coffee. It allows me to combat my morning nausea and eat breakfast. I’m not agitated, and I have greater patience. When I’m not flaring, I can clean and complete chores without destroying my back. I can shower without needing to rest in bed for an hour afterwards. I can concentrate on my homework better. I can peacefully sleep through the night; I now love mornings, rather than loathe them. I am a better person because of it.
If you choose not to smoke, I respect your decision; but please don’t judge me, or anyone else, for using this natural solution medicinally. If you’ve never suffered from chronic & debilitating symptoms, I really don’t give a shit about your opinion. It’s one of the only resources I have that makes my life manageable. I’m just trying to survive, and if you cannot understand that, shame on you.
I would rather be labeled a stoner than subject my body to addiction or possible overdose. I would rather be a stoner than end my life because the daily suffering is too great.
Join the circle.